1.31.16
In Santa Fe, NM today, with my main toddler man, Antonio.  We arrived a couple nights ago.  The most striking thing about this town, is how sacred it feels.  Even when you’re in a store parking lot or just driving on a normal-looking street, something feels very present in this area. 

Yesterday, we drove up this dirt road to see the Audubon park here, but when we arrived, it turned out it was still closed for the holidays.  I was disappointed, as I read that you can view ancient ruins from the trails there.  I believe the path would be too difficult to pass with my car in the snow, when it re-opens tomorrow.

So, unsure of where else to go, with Antonio already napping in the back seat, I decided to just drive downtown to check it out.  And wow.  It is beautiful, and what really was astounding was how much LOVE was all around us.   Each and every person we passed by, saw in a store, stood next to on the street, talked to Antonio, told him how handsome he was, how beautiful his eyes were, stopped to play with him, helped me pick up the huge piles of baskets that fell when he pulled on one of them, and just love - love everywhere.  It was the gentlest, most loving day out in a town I can ever recall.  And we have gotten a lot of love all over the place! 

The other thing that stood out, was all the beautiful crystal shops!  I mean, geodes like I’ve only seen on Facebook!  It felt so good to be in these spaces, with the beautiful energy of the stones, and I just felt thankful to Gaia for all she provides for us as we walked, drove, and looked around in awe and wonder.

I’m so glad we came here.  I’m finding though, that there is SO much more I’d like to see here and experience. That was the downside of coming on a whim—more lead time is needed when wishing to schedule special tours and such.  And more is closed for the season than I anticipated.  But finding that I resonate deeply with viewing sacred places, and feeling reverent for people before us, and how they lived, and how in tune they were with the sun and moon cycles.  They worked with Mother Nature, else how would they have survived?  And I find myself contemplating raising a baby when living in a rock house built into a mountain
side!

Last night, I opted to extend our stay by one day, partially because we have a great deal on a nice room (thank you Priceline Express Deals!), but partially also, to just rest our bones and take a minute to tune in.  So all we did was go to Denny’s for lunch, then back to the room for a nap.  Accidently pinched Antonio’s lip in the seat belt as we were getting in the car.  I felt so badly.  And I didn’t even realize it happened or could happen until it was done!  Poor guy. I gave him a big hug, dabbed his lip and gave him an arnica to help it feel better and heal.  He was giggling again within a minute. 

Then, as we parked at Denny’s, which was just down the street from our hotel, a man approached asking to clean my windshield for any money I could give him, or food.  And normally, I might feel afraid, or annoyed, or insecure. But in this case, I wanted to help this man so badly, there was something beautiful in his soul just speaking to me.  And I did have a little cash, but not much.  All I could think was omg, I have SO much, a car full of stuff that is heavy and obnoxious to move in and out of places, surely I have something extra I can give this man.  And so I found a couple dollars and gave it to him, and he was so thankful and gave blessings to us, and he cleaned my windshield for me, and blessed Antonio and it was just this totally unexpected interaction, and I was so moved by it, it really surprised me.  I wanted to ball my eyes out when I got into Denny’s.  I wanted to help this man so much.  Then I found I wanted to help everyone so much.  Not help, but heal.  Make it all better.  Remind everyone how awesome they are.  Meanwhile, I’m not even sure where we will sleep after tonight.  Or how we will find our home.  Or where it will be, though I have an idea at least, now.  The other thing, was at Denny’s, every single person was loving to Antonio again.  People helped me pick up his bottle when he threw it across the room or into the kitchen area!  Wait staff and other customers stopped to talk to him, smile at him, tell him how he’s so cute, and such a love.  What a sweet, sweet town, with such loving people.

Driving back to the hotel, I felt grounded even while driving.  There is just this magical ‘something’ in the air here, which feels good.  And I saw 888’s as I was driving.  Angels love communicating to me with numbers.

Considered Santa Fe for our next home, but the thing is, is that I picture myself someplace else.  Though I do LOVE the energy here. 

Heading back into the unknown tomorrow.  Up to Colorado, which feels right.  I do have some places I could potentially stay for a while, just considering my options, and also, considering what I’d really like to do at this point.  Feeling so grateful for all my friends, and the bounty we have experienced on this road trip adventure. Each time we've gotten in the car to go to the next place, it's always been with just enough money to get there.  Enough food for a day or two.  And yet, we've had safe, nice, warm places to stay every single night.  We've had more food to eat than we could even possibly consume.  And more than we need as far as supplies.  We've been safe and loved.

The man who cleaned my windshield said how babies are blessings from God. This adventure has been so awesome, Antonio has been a dream in the car, and super excited about each and everything we do and everyone we meet.  He really is a lovey dovey dooby doo.  Certainly though, there are challenges to traveling with a toddler by yourself.  Packing and unpacking the car and going up and down steps and in and out of weighted doors, over and over and over again all while carrying or wearing a child, who is sometimes picking at your open eye balls, slapping your face and giggling, or scratching your chest, can be demanding.  Quite demanding.  But I keep thinking about how without Antonio, I would never have taken this approach to life.  He is the blessing in my life that helped me say no to bull-shit and yes to living on purpose, without compromise, and to create the life of our dreams.  Thank you, Antonio.  I’m so glad you’re here and with me on this journey.

Love and blessings from Mama Ellen & Baby, err Toddler, Antonio.
 

We left St. Louis 2 weeks ago.  We put all our things into storage, got a mailbox, and packed up the car and hit the road!

We got to visit friends in Chicago, Illinois, then we were off to Colorado.  We stayed in Omaha on the way to friends in Parker, then up to Fort Collins, and today we are in Durango—which feels like a real adventure because I haven’t been here since I was a little girl. 

Amazing how many things start to come together, how many doors open when you just do things.  And I was so nervous to take this leap of faith and sort out where we will live by going to stay with friends and leaving where we were without knowing where we will live next, but now that we’re doing it, it’s amazing how many people have told me they wish they could do what I’m doing.  I have had plans for no more than a few days at a time, and it’s been liberating and also affirming of faith, as we have had a safe place to stay every single night of our trip.

This journey has provided so many lovely reminders of how many good friends I have and how much love is around us all the time.  I’m so grateful it’s impossible to express it adequately.  It’s also been astounding to see how adaptable Antonio is!  Bedtime has been moved around a bunch, we’ve been in different friends’ homes and hotels and in the car a LOT and he’s been so excited for whatever new space, new people, the joy of getting to eat a baby rice cake handed back to him by mommy in the car, just joy.  Every second.  He is the epitome of living in the moment and enjoying it to the fullest.

The mountain air feels so good. 

The biggest challenge I have is to not guess as to how it will work out in the end.  And I’ve had so many reminders to keep the faith.  So here we are, in this lovely town I have been wanting to check out as a possible home for years, continuing our adventure. And each time we’ve gotten in the car, I’ve had just enough $$ to get us to wherever we were going.  And yet we’ve had plenty. 

Love and blessings from Ellen and Antonio <3